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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26292841">If You Aim to Kill, Don't Miss</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/backwards_silver/pseuds/backwards_silver'>backwards_silver</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homeland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:21:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26292841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/backwards_silver/pseuds/backwards_silver</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Quinn gets off the phone with Carrie before leaving for Syria...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carrie Mathison &amp; Peter Quinn, Carrie Mathison/Peter Quinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If You Aim to Kill, Don't Miss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Oh shoot...<br/>I dunno what I did here.<br/>Sorry.<br/>This was a complete one-shot. It hurts, but it feels genuine.<br/>Idek guys...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So this is what heartbreak feels like<br/>It's a fairly poignant feeling.<br/>More physical than he thought it'd be.<br/>Less like a metaphorical heartache, more like a physical dagger through his heart.</p><p><br/>She hangs up.<br/>Or maybe he does first.<br/>And he's frozen a moment because...<br/>He can't breathe.<br/>No, not like...'<em>It hurts too much, I don't wanna even breathe.</em>"<br/>Literally.<br/>He <em>cannot</em> breathe.<br/>He's pretty sure his heart literally just split in half.</p><p><br/>It's weird, he thinks...<br/>He always thought dying would be the most painful experience of his life<br/>Like he'd have those agonizing few moments before death took him over.<br/>He'd kind of sputter out gasped breaths....<br/>Choking on the taste of his own blood, feeling the life draining out of him.<br/>It would be painful.<br/>But it would also be the end.<br/>But somehow...<em>this</em>...</p><p><br/>This is far worse than death.<br/>More painful than anything he'd felt before.<br/>It's the feeling of wind being knocked out of you.<br/>That sharp, terrifying feeling of your lungs actually ceasing to work properly.<br/>He hears a pained gasp of breath...realizes it's his own.<br/>He was still breathing.<br/>And....fuck, if that wasn't the worst news of all.</p><p><br/>He pushed himself to standing on shaky legs somehow.<br/>In some undetermined space of time he managed to pack a bag.<br/>His eyes blurry with something resembling tears.<br/>He's not sure he's even thinking right now...<br/>Not sure if thinking will be possible for a long time.<br/>But he can't not leave anything.<br/>If he dies...When he dies.</p><p><br/>It seems cruel to leave her with nothing.<br/>Though, maybe that's just his overwrought heart.<br/>Still there after all, apparently.<br/>He'd thought the motherfucker had died...<br/>To his chagrin it's still beating, still mercilessly hurting him.<br/>It pushes him so hard he finally surrenders.<br/>Can't quite handle the feeling of a second dagger through his chest.</p><p><br/>He's not sure what to say.<br/>She wouldn't even want a letter.<br/>Of that, he's pretty damn sure.<br/>She'd scoff at it.<br/>Laugh, maybe.<br/>Say he was some idiot...more than she'd thought...for feeling that way.<br/>Think he was selfish...for telling her.</p><p><br/><em>Fuck you</em>, she'd say.<br/>Maybe she'd tear it up, let it drop off her fingertips...<br/>Into a roaring fire somewhere, turn with a smile to her new lover, not an ounce of hesitation in her step.<br/>Only joy.<br/>He'd ask what is was.<br/>She'd say, '<em>it's nothing</em>'.<br/>They'd live on.</p><p><br/>And he'd be dead.<br/>With nothing but a wispy piece of ash to remember him by.</p>
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